A different kind of illness

I am still sick. I’ve been sick since last Friday. I don’t have the coronavirus (that I know of), but what I can tell you is this is one of the worst sinus infections I’ve had in many years. It crept up on me very suddenly and that scares me. We had little to no winter at all this year. No snow and the temperature barely stayed below freezing for more than a day or two at a time before jumping up again into the 40s or 50s.

Considering I have acute chronic sinusitis this scares me because I can’t afford to have illnesses this severe as I get older. It’ll take longer to get over them and they weaken my immune system. Right now, I am highly susceptible to getting COVID-19 because of how ill I’ve been this week. Am I worried about getting it? Not really. Other than the morning hours on Tuesday where I holed myself in my office, I’ve hardly been outside at all. I went home midday Tuesday and worked from home yesterday. When I talked to my boss about possibly coming in late today he said, “Don’t come in at all! Stay home!” He said I sounded horrible – I do. He then told me to stay home and don’t come in at all this week. I’ve been banned from the office. I am still getting work done though since I have my laptop with me.

Aside from the super stuffy sinuses, which has made breathing its own sort of game of chance (especially when trying to sleep at night), it’s now in my chest and the congestion is making me cough all time time. My throat is now more sore from coughing than from the post-nasal drip. I still can’t hear all that well due to the pressure in my head. I’ve experienced this all before, but it’s very easy to take for granted that it won’t happen again when I’m feeling better.

I hadn’t been listening to any news, which is what I normally do on my drive in to work each day. When I dragged myself in on Tuesday, I heard that the stock indexes were at their worst the day before. Everyone is worried about recession now. Interest rates on houses have plummeted to the same when Z and I bought our house (we got ours just before the rebound upswing). One of my emails was about the cancellation of the largest orthopedic conference in the world, AAOS. It’s a show we always exhibit at. Last year I was in Vegas at this time and spent nearly a full week there talking with clients, staying up late for business dinners and happy hours. Z told me two of his spring events were postponed to the autumn. Events are being cancelled all over. E3 was cancelled, so there was no news or teasers of games.

It’s strange how a different illness – one of paranoia – has taken over. Z went to the store to get some cough medicine for me and noticed a sign on the door: They are all wiped out of masks, rubbing alcohol and hand sanitizer. It seems like we are all in a sort of lock-down of our own free will. But is it?

I’ve read about people prohibiting hand-shaking. My coworker said she heard of business people giving each other “welcome kicks” instead, which I said was a liability in itself. How about we just respectfully bow to each other the way the Japanese do. I would like to see that sort of shift away from the happy-go-lucky, touchy-feely American way going to something a bit more respectful of people’s personal space and unnecessary touching.

To end this dour stream-of-consciousness post, another form of illness I have is definitely addiction. It’s in the form of Animal Crossing because there’s 9 days left until New Horizons is out. Then, I won’t care about being self-quarantined. It’ll be heaven to stay in and hang out on my virtual desert island.


Start Date: Shopping Ban


After carefully writing out what I felt was necessary to achieve a shopping ban I felt comfortable with yesterday, plenty of other things came to mind today. Therein lies the problem: at what point do you restrict yourself? I will stick with what I wrote down, but will add a few cautionary items that I should be able to control by observing monthly spending.

The general goal is to not spend any money on clothing or shoes for the rest of the year. That being said, I have given myself some allowances. I created a specific wishlist of sorts and IF I happen to find something that falls in the specific wishlist category, I will allow myself that indulgence. I’m not going to disclose the wishlist here, but it’s very small and consists of a few items I’d been thinking a lot about but haven’t found what I truly want for those items yet. Instead of stressing out that I’ll find them once the ban starts, I’ve made them as exceptions. Other exceptions include an extra pair of exercise shoes and socks – but only if I need them. So far, I’m good on both and should be for several more months. If my exercise routine improves (here’s to hoping I keep up with my habit tracker), then I may need another pair of shoes by autumn. The socks also fall into the exercise category since they are thin, no-show kind and I tend to go through those rather quickly.


Since the ban is predominantly about my wardrobe, I can see where I might slide into binging on other areas, which I should keep track of:

  1. In-game purchases (I need to stop being a slave to this)
  2. Plants and accessories (I can see this becoming a surrogate spending area to replace clothes quite easily)
  3. Journaling accessories (ditto on this one being dangerous for my wallet)

I’m hoping that exercising, habit tracking, journaling, and the new Animal Crossing game that comes out in 19 days will keep me busy enough to not bother with wanting to shop for anything or even bother looking for items on my wishlist like I have been. We’ll see.

Oh and just to geek out a little – I am that person who took off the game day for when I get Animal Crossing New Horizons so I get a three-day weekend to play it.

Saying no – most of the time

Yuki is not impressed

It’s almost February and I thought I’d do a spending recap for this month.

  • Clothing: $90 – Everlane skinny jeans and Everlane long sleeve tee.
  • Amazon: $54.06 – Jane Iredale lip stain in pink and eye lash extender mascara.
  • Apple: $46.62 – Game app (my unhealthy relationship with Animal Crossing Pocket Camp has been affecting my spending lately with buying game items)

I’m not including the one time I’ve ordered UberEats nor the new pillows I ordered in this spending. I needed new pillows and sometimes take-out is just what we need for stressful work days – so I consider it a sort of mental health type of thing. The three bullets above are definitely things I did not need in the slightest, but I bought them. $190.68 cents worth of unnecessary items. I don’t regret any of them, but it is eye-opening for me to see the numbers like this. I didn’t even spend much this month. I know I’ve done much worse in the past, but seeing how those three bullets add up is really making me think I need to pay much more attention to my extraneous spending.

For some reason I’ve got it in my head I really need penny loafers as well. I’m not going to spend any more money this month, but for the past several weeks I keep looking at these from Bass:

The left one is the natural sole and the right is their easy sole, which just means it’s made out of rubber and is more flexible instead of the typical stacked leather. I like the look of the natural, but know the easy sole may be more comfortable because it’s more flexible. What got me thinking about penny loafers? To be brutally, stupidly honest – a character from an anime I really like. *head*desk* The character is a professional and she always wears the same black suit and penny loafers. I love the her wearing black and brown together. Seeing the loafers on her made me think when I wore penny loafers when I was younger. I had one pair I wore to death. They were the typical wine colored ones like these, but with a leather sole:


I prefer the cognac or brownish kind more these days and I think they would go better with my current wardrobe than this traditional color. But I don’t really need them! Aside from idolizing Akane Tsunemori (the anime character), the classic look of penny loafers – along with the weather – got me thinking about wearing more of a uniform at work and sticking to basics, classics, comfortable jeans. A simple look to put on repeat. I came to the brutal realization lately that I really didn’t need to buy 90% of the clothes I’ve gotten over the past two years I’ve had my slightly more professional job. I can easily get away with wearing a nice top and the same jeans and that’s it. The one Yohji suit I got was a good investment for conferences and client visits, but most everything else… I could’ve easily done without. I don’t need penny loafers to make my ideal uniform in my head! Talk me out of this!

Now for something I did buy, which shocked me:

Even though I returned the last pair of Everlane jeans and swore off the brand for jeans entirely I still couldn’t quit the idea that maybe, somehow, there was an Everlane jean that would work for me. I finally found it in the “authentic-stretch” skinny jean. I don’t know what the heck “authentic stretch” means, but the contents of the jeans are basically more stretch than the other pairs I’ve tried. They are thinner than my trusty Grana Japanese slim style ones ( I really wish Grana would bring those back), but they are nice enough. I do like the mid-rise is higher up on me than my Grana’s. That being said, I don’t think I’ll ever need another pair. Between the trusty Grana’s in blue and the new skinnies in washed black I’m covered for jeans. I also got another long sleeve tee in the new green color that just came out. I have a black one that’s horribly faded, but the fit and softness can’t be beat, so I caved when I saw they came out with a green color. Lately I want everything green and brown.

Another item that’s been catching my eye is the teddy-bear looking cardigan. Almost every brand has a version of it now whether it’s fleece or polyester or whatever – it basically looks like someone skinned a teddy bear. Some of them look meh, but a few have me thinking maybe I’d like one – but I already have three perfectly good cardigans already and I honestly don’t wear them too much! I’m saying no to the poor fleeced teddy bear.


Yuki is not amused at my first-world-shopping-problem plight.


I’m really only 17


Rosen linen top – Won Hundred pant – Dries Van Noten shoes

At the end of my week in Florida I was anxious to get home. I wanted to see Z and get back to a normal life – anything to keep me from going bonkers and getting depressed and having chest pains from anxiety.

After a browse on Tumblr and text message from Z, I was excited and brought back to life by one thing: Animal Crossing for Switch. Yep, I’m secretly a little kid, jumping up and down in my head and screaming because my favorite game is getting another console version. It may not be released until next Christmas, but it will happen and I will start the count down to when I can get it in my paws. I’ve already started threatening to buy another Switch console because it will permanently live with my TV upstairs once that game is out.

Actually the Switch is currently being used with my TV instead of Z’s TV downstairs because I recently downloaded Stardew Valley. It’s another farm simulation game, similar to Story of Seasons: Trio of Towns I was obsessed with last winter. The mechanics are very similar in both games: you own a farm and must start growing crops to gain money so you can grow more crops and obtain animals and better supplies and a bigger home and better clothes and become more popular, etc… You can date the villagers and Stardew Valley actually allows for same sex relationships! SV is also a bit more “real” with how you get into arguments with other villagers, lose your social status and even die from creatures attacking you in the mines. There’s places to mine in Trio of Towns, but SV takes it a whole new level. The mine is 120 levels deep and basically a perpetual boss dungeon where you never get to fight a boss, but have to mercilessly deal with the minions attacking you all the time, which in my opinion is worse than fighting the boss. There’s also a witchy element in SV where mystical creatures befriend you and a wizard tells you how to deal with them among other things.

Playing games is an escape from the reality of all the shit happening around me, but I’m ok with that. I need something to keep me sane and if dating a 16-bit emo goth boy in a farm simulation game does the trick while fighting bats and zombies in a mine – I’ll take it.