Land of the clueless


I had jury duty today. I didn’t sleep at all the night before, so I was exhausted.

When I got to the courthouse I went through a metal detector and was told to put my phone/keys in a basket and my purse on the conveyor belt. When I went through the detector, I waited for my phone and keys.

And waited.

And waited.

There were three officers. One putting things in the baskets, one at the computer for the conveyor, and one at the end for people who beeped in the monitor.

“Um, excuse me? Where are my phone and keys?” No response. Apparently, I’m invisible to the police (go fucking figure based on previous experience).

I walk up and get in the face of one of them – WHERE ARE MY PHONE AND KEYS!? SOMEONE TOOK THEM! I could tell by his expression there was no hope left for this sad sack of flesh and skin before me. His brain had clearly leaked out of his head overnight because the deer-in-headlights gaze that met mine clearly meant he was no longer of the living. He was a pointless, pathetic, mute human-sized paperweight.

I go to the main foyer area and again screamed at the mass of people who I walked in with, “SOMEONE TOOK MY PHONE AND KEYS – CHECK YOUR BELONGINGS!” Zero help from the officers or any other courthouse officials. The little woman with an ankle brace was the one leading the herd and yelling to get shit done, aka, the story of my whole fucking life. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to step up and take control of situations because everyone else was like that officer – dead weight.

A woman kindly gave me her phone and told me to call mine. Just before I dialed another woman meekly said, “I think this is yours?” It was. Now where are the keys? Oh, she didn’t grab any keys. We both walk back towards the metal detectors and the idiots standing sentinel there, but then a courthouse rep gave us a basket and her keys were in it. “Oh, maybe I do have yours!” Sure enough, yes. My keys and key car fob, which looked NOTHING like hers, was in her purse pocket – right after she said she didn’t grab any keys. Later, while we stood in the coat check line she apologized and I told her I’ve been mugged before, so I get very panicky when people take my things. She said she totally understood. I realized I gave a typical excuse, meaning my past experiences had nothing to do with her. There was no way for her to know that about me and how much it distressed me and even telling her that made me feel like I was taking something out on her – and in a way – I was. I was angry at her stupidity for not paying attention to her own things and by extension causing problems for others by just grabbing what’s given to her.

I don’t know if this is common or not, but really? I get that phones look all the same now, but surely if one took half a glance at something they would know if it belonged to them or not. It just doesn’t compute with me how some people can go through life being that oblivious. And then another perfect example of it presented itself while waiting in the coat check line.

A guy waiting to have his juror badge scanned in was told, “Sir, this is for March 12th, not February.” WHAT? Seriously? You pay that little attention to the fact that you’ve dragged your ass out of bed to go to this miserable place ON THE WRONG DAY?

I heard more examples of obtuse cluelessness because people have zero attention spans or reading comprehension skills. The information was directly in front of them, but they ignored it and then wasted time by asking questions that were answered two minutes before.

Levels of stupid tolerance were at an all time high and reaching critical mass.

I wasn’t picked and allowed to leave at just after noon. I made myself a big meal when I got home and then passed out on the sofa for the entire afternoon.

The next time I get a summons I may need to state that for my personal religious reasons I cannot serve. I cannot be subject to the masses for scenarios like that too long or I will become one of those who get escorted into the courtroom for everyone else to judge.

3 thoughts on “Land of the clueless”

  1. Darn, jury duty sounds like a mess in your area! In Manhattan, for state court, there was such a long line in the morning, that I was sure it was going to be a mess, but they were actually pretty good about ushering us in quickly, and I’ve never seen any problems with the security lines (I sometimes go to court for work too). The bad thing about NYC jury duty, at least in Manhattan, is that they generally call you in for two full business days, as there are a lot more cases at any given time that are trying to convene juries.


  2. So stupid people for the win today. My neighbors had six, SIX, f-ing trees cut down today. Why? Because they were tired of racking and having to clean their gutters. Apparently they caught glimpse of the look of disgust on my face and came over and asked my husband if I was upset because it took away some of our privacy. No, you idiots, I’m upset because you just killed six big, healthy trees. Some days, the challenge of being alive in this works with others is particularly keen!


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